It has been a while since I
have posted anything. I guess that is obvious though now is it not??? The past
few weeks have been difficult for me. I wanted this blog to be positive and so
every time I started writing I had a conversation with myself. I told myself,
self, you started this out as a positive blog and so therefore, you will post
nothing that is negative. So I have not posted. It is rather sad I assume that
I did not post my musings at the time. This life that I live, that we all live will
not always be full of sunshine and laughter or rainbows and unicorns.
During these past weeks, I
have gone through some struggles. I was searching for what makes me tick. It is
incredible that at my age I still feel the urge to dissect my inner being. It
is a requirement that after I get inside the dark crevices of my brain that I
take a good long laugh at myself. I learn various things during trips of mine. When
I finally return to my native land, my existence, I realize that I need to stop
taking these trips! I have journeyed to that place many times and there is
nothing new there. I visualize myself grasping for and attaining all the aha
moments I might find that I am lacking at the time. I guess I do return from
these “trips” with a few small tokens of conviction. That must be why I persists
in these little road trips that take me down the dead end road the majority of
the time.
I will convey this to you. If
you have never taken one of these journeys maybe, you should try it! There are
treasures that I have found on my “breaks”. The past one I took I learned I should
open my mouth. I can spend such an extended amount of time thinking about
saying something. By the time I speak, I am so apprehensive about saying it
that things go terrible wrong. This gem was something I learned long ago but I
must have lost it. I also learned that there are things about which I am that I
just need to accept. They are not bad things so why do I want to change them.
God molded us to be who we are to be. Why do I want to mess with His creation?
Acceptance of who I am. I learned new ways of conducting myself. These are the
gifts that I picked up this last trip. I hope that I do not need to return to
the same location. I need a real vacation to some place new!
Yours truly trust that the
reader understands that this is all figurative writing. If not I highly suggest
you take a much-needed sabbatical! Now it is time for that long awaited laugh at myself. Until next time I bid you farewell.
